Hello to everyone that still checks in and to all of you that do THANK YOU!!!!!! Strange as it sounds it gives me a good and warm feeling knowing others still take that minute to think about her .
Today marks the 1 [one] year that we found out she had a really big battle to fight and she and Brian headed to Denver,so they would be there to check into the hospital by 7:a.m on Sat. Up until now she has been all business and matter of fact, making all the arrangments for everyone.. I picture her riding that elevator up to 3rd. floor not having a clue as to what all this day would involve, feeling very nervous and yes scared... They make their way to the nurses station introduce theirselves and it all gets the best of her and she breaks down ,this is were her relatonship with ALICE begins , ALICE is charge nurse,and she comes around and raps her arms around Sissy and holds her, comforting her making sure she knew they were going to take the very best of care of her and she along with many other did just that.. Kayla and I headed down Sat afternoon, by the time we got there she had been poked, proded,cut,sewed and you name it,, but when she saw us,there was that big ole smile,and dancing blue eyes, yes we knew she was happy to see us.... In the perfect world this would have played out differently but it didn't.
Once again I want to thank everyone for everything that was so selflessly given to Brenda over the course of her illness..
I don't know if the black hole in my heart will ever heal from losing her!!! But I know I am proud,blessed, thankful and gratful to have been her mom ....
7 comments:
Sending everyone a great big (((((( HUG ))))))!!!!!!!
Mom I love you! Yesterday was definitely a tough day. I remember the early morning arrival of Brian and Sis. Even with the eventual outcome I would love to go back and hug my sweet sweet Sissy!
Chicken:
As I had my blood drawn on Saturday, I heard three different times people remembering Brenda. One woman said, "I sure hope I don't get a phone call like Brenda's." So many lives are still impacted by Brenda and her battle last year. I, too, miss her smiling face and cheerful voice. Our world will never be the same, and yet, our world has been made richer for the time we had her with us. You did a fine job raising her- you can stand proud.
Joyce
I too feel so proud and honored to have known Sissy and am lucky and fortunate to be a part of her family. There is not a day that goes by that we don't think of her and also that Peyton doesn't ask about her. She was so lucky to have such a special Aunt who loved her dearly and that will never be replaced. I know she is watching over us and keeping us safe and that makes me feel better knowing that we have such a special and wonderful angel! Love you-
I was just thinking of the day last week (of course) all I could think was that the test HAD to be wrong.. no way could our healthy Sissy have leukemia. I remember so clearly them arriving at our house that Friday evening and just staring at her in our basement and thinking this is impossible and that she was going to walk in that hospital and they would tell her the blood test was way off... unfortunately instead we walked in that afternoon and she already had a port in her chest and I just couldn't believe what I was seeing. The treatment was starting and I knew it was for real. Then when does the reality set in that life will keep going on without her. That is really hard for us right now. I think it always will be. It is unfair and that is the tough part of life, the things we can't understand and just wish we could go back and the outcome would be different. Why couldn't I know that I would only have 4 1/2years to get to know my sister in law? Anyway, lots of random thoughts. I'm glad you wrote! We miss you and hope to talk to you soon! Lots of love Hannah
Chicken,
I'm so sorry I haven't written in a long time. Hard to believe it has already been over a year that all of Brenda's troubles began. I will always admire her for her courage. What a strong lady she was!
I saw Roger, Donna, Marlys, Frank, and your mom Saturday at Uncle Kenny's memorial service. It was a nice tribute to him and I'm so glad so many were there. At least it was on Saturday and I was able to attend. I still feel so bad that I couldn't be at Brenda's. It will probably always trouble me.
I know special days are hard for you but always know that Brenda will always be looking out for you. You were and always will be a very special mom. Happy Mother's Day to you.
Love, Joanne
Aunt Chicken,
I don't think the hole ever closes, and there is not a day that goes through your head that you don't remember 1 year ago, 8 months ago, only 32 weeks ago...at this time then we were doing this. It doesn't matter what time at night I go to sleep, I wake up at 11:45 and say it has been 8 weeks and 2 days, 17 weeks and 5 days, and at this time tonight, exactly 32 weeks ago I laid in my husbands arms begging God to allow me to raise my son, but told him that if it was His will, I understood...I just have to remind myself he came here for a reason, and went for the same one...our Heavenly Father's eternal plan! I only had Ryder for 34 short hours, and the pain and anguish that is in my heart daily is undescribable, and somedays unbearable...i.e. Mother's Day...but I cannot imagine having almost 40 years of saying at this time last year...I was going through my stuff to finally write out thank you notes and I came across the card that Brenda had sent to me...and that was all she wrote...I couldn't bear to go on...someday soon everyone will get their thank you cards, but her kind card when she was battling what she was battling to take time out to send her condolences broke me...she was such an amazing woman/friend/cousin! The 5th is OUR day Aunt Chicken!!! Please know I think about you on that day of the month, and that when I send Ryder a balloon I send one to Brenda also!
I love ya!!
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